Whut wuzz dat address agin? I gotta safe fulla Confederate Dollars datter way bettern inny Yankee stuff....in fact I'll trade you dollar fer dollar fer dat useless Yankee stuff iffin ya want.

I didn't think anybody would ever make the connection!  I found Lloyds' Lotus in a shed in the town of Rough and Ready, where it appeared to have languished for decades.... long enough for moss to grow on the northern side of the crankshaft lying on a pallet next to the well pump.

But don't start a stampede up here!  I'll deliver it myself for a mere $10 million!  That might let me finish my Mini's interior...

I've almost started working on it again!  Maybe if I got it running in time for our Nevada City Adventure, you could have a ride in it!

This is why I make my warnings of this Jemal man.

Now he claims Lloyd's of London's Lotus Elan to be his own.  Surely he will lock down this thread to keep the truth from coming out as he does the others.

However I am happy to inform the reader that our President will extend our tendered offer to USD $18 million as a reward for traveling to the City of Nevada, locating our Elan car in his garage and returning it promptly to our Designated Export Agent in Lagos Nigeria.

Those attempting this heroic deed will be watched over by the good Juju spells.  This from the many animal bones saved from the car's interior.

Also our Executive Assistants have proven your story to be a lie, after we contacted your "John Wayne, Steve Mcqueen, Paul Newman and Ronald Reagan" and found no one there. But we are continuing efforts to track them down to understand the true story with Much Due Dilligence.

Well.... I'm even more befuddled by all those details of my Lotus... It's Italian?

I thought it came from Santa Barbara where is was the first S1 Elan Demo-car in 1963, driven by the likes of John Wayne, Steve Mcqueen, Paul Newman, Ronald Reagan.... If any one can produce photos of said celebrity test drives, it will certainly nudge the value towards your stratospheric number!  

that mini crash wasn't real???? what? but there were pictures ?????

Does anyone remember the incredible april fools joke someone posted that was a desription in incredible detail about crashing a mini?

Man that was amazing. Had everyone going, Figure about 15 or more years ago.

peter

Todd (air2air): I think you have waaaaaayyyy too much time on your hands!

(Loved it!)

smells like the 90s are back!

Image Gallery

Wishing you sir, my cohort here to understand deeply my Troubles with this Man Jemal from the Mania of Mini and to expressly avoid contact with his said Associates. And also to make a legitimate Business Offer to you the reader, whom I am honored to address.

I am Barrister George III of Lloyd's of London, Nigeria offices. Recently we were pleased to form a Business Partnership to restore our President's fine LOTUS ELAN, a Sporting Italian mode of transport for our Executives and Officials here. 

This very day I posted here threads warning of bad experiences with unscrupulous persons - such as the dangerous Mr. Spank who tries to sell a Harley Davidson - with obvious collision damage with a Toyota.  But these warnings get the little yellow lock so we cannot know how many lives have been saved by them.  

So we propose to: 1. Unhitch the LOTUS from the two fine Oxen used to pull it, 2. Remove pigeon and rodent bones for later use by our medical practitioners, and thereafter 3. Transport the LOTUS to a trustworthy person skilled in the automotive artisanal arts and mechanical modalities.

Thenceforth, our office read here of Jemal's mastery of the 'Rattle Can' and immediately had the car Shipped via Express Courier to his shop in the City of Nevada with instructions for Rattle Canning in the Fine Gloss Paints.

As you can see by the attached Photos of the Vehicle before Restoration Commencement it was delivered in good faith and Sterling Condition as one of the finest in West Africa, without bite or hoof marks, and needing only finely Rattled Krylon and Meguiars products. As a businessperson and connoisseur yourself used to life's luxuries surely you can see that.

However my Office was troubled to discover that the engine paint shade, though Rattled skillfully was far from correct. My Informed and Educated Associates tell me that Italian cars of the 1980s sport only red - and not blue - upon the 'Le Coveur du Camme' (Italian).

My offices are therefore compelled to offer you the excellent reader an amount in excess of USD $20 million to recover this vehicle, and return it to Lloyd's of London, Lagos Nigeria. There may be a small upfront cost for International shipping of approximately $15,600 with a Global Shipping Company which you may remit upon expressing your interest in this opportunity.